I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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