you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
