Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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