it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Boobs speak an international language.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
