whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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