Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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