Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
