Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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