That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
