Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
