my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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