My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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