I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
