i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
