Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
