So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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