i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need a beard to bite.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize