Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
