Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
