Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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