I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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