I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
