Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
