I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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