He had one of those small greek statue penises
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
