you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Found your dick twin last night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
