Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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