My friends, they love my intelligence
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
