Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
