i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
