everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
