i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
