Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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