I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize