Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
