coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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