So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
