shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
