I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
