Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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