His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
