So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
