I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
