Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
zippers are such a cool invention
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
