I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
