Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
