His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
