Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
