oh god the rape fog is back!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
