I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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