1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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