It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
