her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
