I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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