Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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