dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
