Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
