We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
