The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
