I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
