He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize