R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize